Story Behind This Song
“Do not fear the enemy who attacks
you, but the fake friend that hugs you”. I’m sure most people have seen this quote come up in a meme/photo on
Facebook/Twitter before, but it is sooo true and the theme of this song. I love hugs, if they are truly genuine, and
the people that hug you are being sincere instead of just going through the
typical obligatory hug routine. I mean a
“handshake” hug, what I call the obligatory hug, is great. It’s a more intimate kind of handshake,
even if you don’t know someone all that well.
All kinds of hugs are great, as my song says!
However, what I can’t stand is when
people completely shit on you and the next time they see you it’s hey “give me
a hug” and you can’t believe they would think you actually want to hug them
after how they treated you. Case in
point – this guy who I’ve been referring to in my song stories for Hypnotize Me Please, Get a Move On, & Wanna Dance, is one of those people.
When I first discovered this guys’
band, I was fairly new to San Diego and
was excited I had finally found a band who’s music I was completely into. The guys in the band seemed really nice and
fun as well and I was thinking to myself it’d be cool to hang with this group
of people and make friends, as they seemed to live the beachy lifestyle as well
that I loved. After their CD release
party that I went to, I sent out friend requests to all the guys in the bands I
wasn’t friends with, including this fake hugger that I’ll be referring to. I was hesitant to send a friend request to
this guy, as the night before, there was kind of a weird encounter (read more
on the Hypnotize Me Please song story for more of the backstory on that). However, I didn’t want to not request him and
request everybody else. I just kind of
think that way about being inclusive vs. exclusive with people. Anyways, needless to say he denied me right
away, I mean there was no leaving me in que and thinking about it for a bit, it
was the automatic FB denial, but now Facebook calls it something nicer, with
the “not now” button. Maybe he just
couldn’t handle being friends with me if he was interested in me or something
and had a girlfriend or maybe he just had a policy of not being Facebook
friends with fans. I was a bit
perplexed. The next weekend or two after
when I saw him at the next show, he immediately came up to me and gave me a
hug, I think this was definitely to overcompensate for the FB friend denial and
again, a move to just “keep me at bay”!
So you deny someone a connection into your little stupid Facebook world
but immediately hug them the next time you see them. I didn’t get it, seemed fake to me. Especially when he ended up accepting a
friend request from a friend of mine I had recently met who just discovered the
band as well (which threw my not being FB friends with random fans theory out
the door). This was NOTHING though, in
relation to how he came up and hugged me the next time he completely showed no
respect to me.
I had been a big fan of his band for
a great amount of time. I went to a lot
of shows, shared his bands stuff online to help promote them but really, truly
because I believed they had great music and I love sharing music that I
love. One night, after he had broken up
with his girlfriend for good (just for reference here), I ran into him at this
bar where I was going to be singing at open mic night. He greeted me with this unusually tight hug
and then later stuck his ass in my face (as he probably wanted me to smack it). I didn’t smack it at that point as I was
super nervous (not shy) about singing open mic night in front of him. I was going
up to sing right after the guy that was currently on stage. I had told him I was nervous and that I was
going up next, and then he pretended to get out a piece of paper as if he were
going to judge, ha! What truly amazed
and appalled me was that he left, RIGHT as I was getting up on stage to
sing. He couldn’t even stay any longer
to hear 3 little old songs of mine, after all the respect and support I had
shown him and his band, he couldn’t stay for 3 measly songs? The next time I saw him, he just started to
try and come up and give me this hug and I was not having any of it. I told him he was on my shit list for leaving
and not being able to show any respect and support. He admitted to being an ass, but what the
assbag should have done was say, ya know what I was an ass, let me make it up
to you sometime. Let me know when you’re
going out for an open mic night again and I’ll try to make it out.
NO such response from him. However even with that, I didn’t hold a
grudge, I did tell him that he was still on my shit list and that he owed me an
open mic night. I tried a couple times
to ask him to see if he’d come out to an open mic night I was going to and I
seriously didn’t care that he couldn’t make it out then. I
would have been completely fine if he could have just come out ONE time and
shown some support, especially after ditching me the way he did. I didn’t even care if he told me I suck and
had no interest in ever hearing me again, at least he would be being real and
honest then – I can respect that!
However, when I went to an open mic
night a few months later and saw that he came with a group of friends to
support this friend of his (platonic friend who was a girl) that was singing
open mic that night and they asked to go in front of me and they sang a duet,
it was just too much for me to take.
This was after the whole if you keep running I’m not waiting fiasco that
I describe in my Get a Move On song story.
Even that night, he barely paid attention to any of my songs I
performed. I knew he would
like the Boys in Bands song as that song played to his starving and famished EGO. However he couldn’t be bothered to show any
respect and listen to my Get a Move On song (which I knew he wouldn’t anyway,
as I knew he would run away like a chicken with his head cut off – hypocrite!).
At least I listened to and respected his stupid if you keep running, I’m not
waiting song. He didn’t even come up and
give me a high five or say anything to me after I sang that night at open mic
night either. I mean no respect, at all,
I guess I just always wanted to be
friends and hang out with his band which was why again I was upset and
disappointed that I did not get invited to go down with them and a group of
friends to Mexico like they usually do once a year. I had told one of the band members that I
would love to go down to Mexico with them sometime and got a load of shit like
oh, it’s dangerous to go down there for girls.
Then, they went down with a whole group of people including some girls
and the Barbie doll (who I reference in the backstory for my Wanna Dance song).
That was the weekend I bet they hooked up for the first time which is probably
the real reason why I was not invited.
However I wouldn’t have cared if I was down there when it happened and
they got together. People need to get
over themselves! If people are just real
with me and let me in, I can respect that.
You’re not all that. I would
prefer to just have a great time enjoying the company and having adventures
with inclusive, open, and caring people.
Unfortunately, it’s just hard to
really believe in a lot of their music now, since this fake hugger writes a lot
of their songs. Any words/lyrics from
him are completely meaningless to me and have no credibility, so I just can’t
vibe with it the way I used to or will ever be able to do again. That is the real reason why I just do not
respect the fake hugger. I’ll never get
that unjaded spirit back that I had for the band, unless, perhaps, they get a
new lead singer. I guess you can O.D. on
some bands, like my Boys in Bands song says might happen to some super fans!
It’s amazing, but I’ve realized just
because someone lives a similar lifestyle to you and you think it might be cool
to be friends them, you should never have to try so hard to be anyone’s
friend. If they can’t be your friend,
then they are missing out on some serious benefits, which is why I called my
album Friends with Benefits and have a song of the same name! Even friends that
you may not have a lot in common with, if they are there for you, do not flake
on you, and you can depend on them, hold onto that!! As I allude to at the end of my alternate
version of Anuhea’s “Big Deal” song, “let
all the rays of sunshine into your life”